Friday, January 16, 2009

On shorter posts and small town joys...

I won't belabor the point since Jen's already touched on it, but frankly, the blog has major league sucked since about my first week on the job. The remedy for such suckitude, I hope, is to shorten my posts to allow for more frequent ramblings. If I've got 10 minutes to kill between meetings about the TPS cover sheets, I hope to spend it tormenting my keyboard for your reading pleasure.

Now for some actual content. For those who don't know me personally, I hail from the metropolis(insert heavy sarcasm here) that is Manchester, Ohio. You've not been there I'm certain, so allow me to paint the rosey picture now: Take all the lovely conveniences you've come to know and love about where you live, and throw them directly out the window. No malls or Targets, Applebee's or B dubbs, cell phone service, badass happy hours at your favorite spot, movie theaters and bowling alleys. See, in Manchester, you get 3 Stop Lights and the 8 ball pool hall. That's it. However, let me tell you why it's the most awesome thing this side of Julius's wallet in 'Pulp Fiction' - small towns are like Mexico when it comes to money, it goes a lot further. Courtesy of Lee's Fix-It Shop, the Silver Bullet(Shoutout to Hopper - "DETROIT MUSCLE BITCH") is stoppin' on dimes while saving Josh's. Lee hooked it up at a cost of $155 for parts and labor, while the friendly neighborhood Firestone here in Hilliard quoted me at $350-$650.

So the next time you're in need of auto repair, I'd recommend you head out to the closest small town near you. Head to the local diner/coffee shop, have some lunch and wait for the guy with the greasy hands to show up. While you're waiting, ask to see the phonebook. Pick out the name of a lovely local yocal, and when the town mechanic shows up advise that you're "Dave Seaman's cousin". Ask if he's got time to take a look at your radiator, and then go buy yourself a Snuggie and some Sham-Wows with all the money you saved.

No comments: