Thursday, October 30, 2008

Some Randomness on Halloween

Because I'm lazy and they require little effort, I like to write in lists. It's much easier than trying to tie together random thoughts to make sentences.


-I'm an OU alum. That means I'm cool. What's not cool, however, is the Halloween party every year in Athens. Athens is a cozy little town and when you stuff 30,000 extra people there it gets stuffy. One year Holliday and I went with a tandem costume: Holliday as Jesper Parnevik and me as his caddie. It was a cool idea, and we looked the part. The problem came later that evening when Redneck, in a child's size SpongeBob SquarePants get-up, got jacked in the head with a phone by his crazy ex-girlfriend. This made Mike weep, and Nick was his shoulder to cry on. I trekked uptown alone, and had to explain my costume far too many times.

-The Reese's Cup is the holy grail of Halloween candy. I always rated my Halloween score by the number of reese's cups I received. If you couldn't count them on one hand, you were doing alright.

- On the other side of the coin were those candies that were wrapped up in orange and black wrappers. There was no company name or advertisement to suggest what was in these things. I think they were caramels or something, but frankly, I don't know that I ever ate them.

-Moving on from Halloween, but sticking with the orange theme, I hope the Bengals go winless this year. Looking at their schedule, it certainly seems possible. The only game I fear they'll win is the last one against the Chiefs who rival the Bengals in overall suckitude. I'm a season ticket holder, so watching them lose games isn't terribly enjoyable. But really, what's the point in winning? I'll take the #1 draft pick in April and a spot in the record books over some measly upset win.

- That said, cast me as one of the doubters that going winless will result in widescale change for the hometown team. Mike Brown will not step down, he won't fire Marvin Lewis, he will not hire a GM, he will not double the size of the personnel department and they will not hire a good coach like Bill Cowher. One thing Mike Brown also will not do - receive another penny from this guy after this season's end.

-Again switching gears, The Office has officially begun its decline. It's just not that funny any more. Pam and Jim is DULL DULL DULL. Michael's character is so over-the-top that he's no longer funny, he's just awkward. Only Dwight is still pulling his weight on that show.

-30 Rock, however, is the absolute balls of the comedy world right now. If you're not watching that show you are doing yourself a HUGE disservice. Tina Fey gets all the publicity but she's hardly the main draw. Tracy Morgan's work on 30 Rock is the absolute apex of funny.

-Batten down the hatches, but I'm about to utter a disparaging remark about Mr. Barack Obama. His little happy time fun half-hour the other day caused a ripple effect on my DVR. When my DVR isn't functioning properly, it's a bad time to be at 2005 Jasper Lane.

Have a good weekend kiddies.

4 comments:

Jen Lilley said...

I was thinking of writing a pre-halloween blog today, but I think you said it all....except the mentioning of my dislike for slutty halloween costumes that dont make any sense... (slutty rainbow bright...really?)

One year after we were "too old" to trick-or-treat we had a haunted house in my parents' garage and charged 3 pieces of candy to get in and it specifically said on the sign "and none of those things wrapped in orange and black wrappers" seriously.. wtf are they?

one more thing. dont hate on the office yet... and don't call my boyfriend dull. I havent watched yesterday's episode yet, but you have to admit the jan baby shower episode was funny.. (the only one who could ever reach me..was the son of a preacher man!)

see you this weekend!

Bates said...

JL,
I personally miss the slutty Halloween costumes of Athens. I would take them over the massively repeated costumes. This evening I will be lucky to see an adult woman in my neighborhood, besides Heather, that is not dressed up as Sarah Palin.

MF,
That was my cordless phone used in the violent clubbing of Redneck's skull. Hearing Redneck and Ashley's makeup sex later that week was the most painful part of that entire domestic dispute. Although seeing a intoxicated, chubby, crazy, annoying, french maid breaking into my house was alarming, yet amusing. Fore!

As for those tasteless wads wrapped in black and orange wax paper I think those were bit-o-honey?? or some form of 'nut butter. Either way I wonder how many of those wads make up our nation's landfills and sewage systems. I think you can buy a bag of them at the 99 cent store, if either of you are interested in stomach pains.

Well I hope you both have a great Halloween. Heather and I are planning on laying low, defending our house, and watching something horror related movies. I'm highly anxiousness to crack open some sparks, and a fresh pack of candy cigarettes and smoking and drinking my sugar jitters away.
Happy Halloween,
WB

tooshytostop said...

Thanks for the info about Halloween party! Too Shy to Stop writer Peter Ricci put together an interesting piece about the article. You can read the piece here.

Jen Lilley said...

I watched 30 Rock for the first time ever the other night. Ok...that show is seriously funny. Not how I haven't watched it until now!